Loss

Facebook is the happy cupcake place. You don't post serious sad stuff there. Good thing I still have the blog and obviously still got people who check on me and pass by. 
I am not in a good shape. I am really really low. The sorrow just washes over me from time to time and now I am in one of those phases. My heart is pounding to fast, my tummy hurts and I am filled with anxiety and sadness. A huge lump in my chest.  Tears are burning behind my eyes -constantly. Sat in a job-meeting today and all I could think of was the loss of Clara. I feel meaningless and so empty. I do things automatically, not thinking at all. The only joy are my girls. They are in a sweet phase. Loads of blowing kisses and hugs. Without them I'd probably be totally lost. I don't know how to carry on. I don't know if I can go on. If I can stand it anymore. The pain is just so big. 
I feel alone in my sorrow and in my sadness. What am I supposed to do? 

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