One on one time
Having multiples means being everywhere and still not being able to get that extended one on one time. You are always on the lookout for the other one and even if I frequently (all day) sit on the floor with one in my lap, the other isn't far and wants her mum too. You have a constant feeling of not being enough. But I've found a great solution for that: bathing.
I only bathe them one at a time and sit next to them of course.. and those 10-15 minutes a day are just great to chat, play with the water and I get to take care of only one toddler. Wash her hair and body and take my time with just her. Until it's time for toddler number 2.
I thought about this thing you say to all new parents: enjoy the baby time, enjoy being at home with your baby, enjoy the possibility of only needing to take care of your baby, being able to see every step and new tooth and not needing to work and missing out on it. Well, I somehow missed that. At first everything was just chaos with being in hospital for so long and then it was all just a black hole with some sparkling moments when the girls lit up my life again and with two babies you don't get to enjoy 'only taking care of the baby'. It is more than a full time occupation. Then we've had some family issues with illness etc and I've had both extreme back pain and my sorrow to cope with, so time had just passed without my really 'enjoying' the babyphase. Although I've been more than present. And I do enjoy every minute with my girls and miss them when they're sleeping, although I am really happy when they are sleeping.. but still it feels like I've been missing out on something. And that's not a great feeling. Other parents go on holiday with their baby and make memories. I seem to only make lunches and change diapers.
But I will make memories some day. Take the girls on holiday and enjoy each other's company. Show them the world and make history come alive in all those fantastic places. Until then I'll change diapers and make lunches.
