What are they?
People seem to have trouble saying triplets to my girls. Because they only see two and maybe because they don't want to remind us of Clara all the time. (As if we weren't thinking of her...?) I think it is a bigger reminder saying twins when they are obviously triplets. Especially as we don't know how close Alice & Antonia are. You could always say identical twins to Alice & Clara, but as we don't know if Alice & Antonias DNA match and if they are identical, it just doesn't fit to say twins. They are triplets, born triplets and will always be triplets, even if one of them currently resides somewhere else. And even if they all are identical, they are triplets. Nothing else.
I miss Clara so much. I would love to see her again and hold her in my arms again. That longing just doesn't stop, it increases every day. I am so curious about her personality, which I only got to catch a glimpse of. That laid back girl, letting her sisters do their thing and staying calm, being their rock. Being my rock.
Right now I'd describe my mental state as a kind of yello dessert. As long as you don't stick the spoon into the yello, I function. But as soon as you stick it in a bit, I start to wobble and break. I'm okay with having shallow conversations, but I'm all numb underneath that. I can't and I don't want to dig in deeper. I know I need to find a new curator and maybe a psychologist too. My need to control everand my anxieties just increase.
